I grab my stapler and Accounting badge and follow Dave towards the bonfire. Leaping over a burning table, I raise my stapler in the air and swing it around wildly. “Who’s lookin’ for a staplin’?!”“Stop it,” Dave says. “Look!”Jennifer from Marketing is sitting in front of a computer, the rest of the Marketing team huddled around her, except for one person who appears to be lying unconscious on the ground.“Jennyfur!” I say. “You called for help? Need some head-bashin’ to be done?”Jennifur slowly turns around in her swivel chair. “First off, my name is Sarah. And no, I’m afraid this foe cannot be defeated by physical combat.”“Then what kind’a warfare are we doin’?” I ask Jennifir.She sighs. “The worst kind: Internet warfa-”“You’re all fired!”We turn around to look at the newest arrival. A collective groan resonates across the halls. It’s Jake from HR and he’s holding a clipboard, pointing excitedly at us. “Fired!” He repeats.“What?”“I saw the fire! Trouble must’ve arrived, so I’m firing all of you.” He looks at his clipboard and frowns. “Wait, why was the beacon lit again?”Jennifar explains. “We’re being attacked on the Internet from all fronts.”Dave squints at the screen. “Is that… Twitter?”The word makes shivers run down my back. “No, not Twitter.”“All the tweets… they’re utterly destroying us.” Jennifor affirms. “The hashtags are trending. Politicians are joining in. Our stocks are already plunging like a bus over a cliff.”Dave sighs. “The battle has just begun, but it may already be over.”“That’s why we called you here. We need your help.” Jennyferr says. “We must have hope in these dark times, but I’m afraid we need nothing short of a legendary PR stunt to save us.”I nod my head. “You have my stapler,” I say.“And my clipboard,” Jake says.“Wait, how is that going to help?” Jenyferr points at the screen. “You see what’s on that computer? That’s what we need help with.”Suddenly, drums sound. A loud banging comes from all around us, and a booming voice follows.“Did someone say… computer help?”Jenyfar turns white. “No, wai-”But it’s too late. The computer is already shutting down, and Kevin from Tech Support is holding the power button smugly. “Just turn it off and on again.”r/OracleOfCake