“What? No way, same day delivery?” I said, looking at a picture of me that clearly said RANDALL COOPER with my address, 34 Maple. That’s it. “Really, I’m only worth $40?” I sigh. I click purchase anyways, and send over my bitcoin.I started to hear the sound of a deep home off in the distance approaching closer. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up. The hum sounds like an industrial grade fan that kept getting closer. It was coming from outside my house.I walked over to the front and looked out the window. “A helicopter? You’ve got to be kidding me.”A swarm of SWAT team agents busted through my door with a battering ram, other agents crashed through the windows in the other rooms of my house swinging in on ropes.”Dammit,” I sigh as they are breaking the new windows to my parents house because of my idiocy.”Freeze dirt bag! Hands in the air! You’re under arrest for enabling and perpetuating human trafficking,” the agent screamed.”Okay, no. I bought myself, it was just an experiment on what would happen. You guys better pay for those windows, my mom literally just got them replaced a month ago.”The agent looked dumbfounded. “Wait, hold on boys,” he called off the other members. “You say that you bought yourself?” he waved another agent over and whispered to them.They pulled out a tablet, the agent tapped the screen repeatedly and grunted. “I got no service. Excuse me, Randall, what’s your WiFi & password?”The WiFi name is House 34, password is, no exceptions. All one word, all lowercase,” I said.They waited a moment and found information on the tablet. “Yes sir, he bought himself. What kind of sick weirdo would do such a thing?” the agent hollered.”I just wanted to see what would happen.””Ugh. C’mon men. Let’s get the hell out of here. We’ll fix your windows, I guess,” the agent scoffed as they all left in unison.r/randallcooper